Don't Stop the ACLU

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Gay, drunk, retarded - What's the difference?

If you ask the Pentagon, they'll tell you, "Oh, nothin' much." Offering further proof that the U.S. government and, I don't know, 75% of the population hates gay people, a recently uncovered Pentagon document lists homosexuality as a mental disorder similar to mental retardation and alcoholism. This isn't some relic from the Vietnam era, either; it was re-certified in 2003. How lovely this is to hear. As if the military policy on homosexuality isn't demeaning enough (you know the policy - the one that says you're not allowed to be gay), now they're telling homosexuals that, in essence, they're on par with drunken retards.

What is it with people misunderstanding homosexuality so thoroughly? It's not very complicated. They won't just start fucking in the middle of a battle or on the courthouse lawn. They won't rape you or your children. They hate AIDS as much as you do. They want to get married, but for some reason you won't let them. They're just like you, except they have different tastes. You like Toby Keith; they like Celine Dion.

Here's what I'll ask you to do: Ask one of your gay friends or find a random gay person if you don't have any gay friends, and ask him or her what it's like to be gay. My guess is you'll get an explanation that goes something like this: "Oh, my life is pretty much the same as yours, except my apartment is cleaner." If they don't mention how the majority of the world's population thinks they're inferior to heterosexuals, it's only because they're too polite to bring it up.

Seriously, America. Knock it the fuck off; quit acting like it's 3,000 B.C.; and get over yourselves.
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 10:35 PM


Blogger Bill from Dover said...

I believe der leader is somewhat worried about what may happen if two (or more) of these people happened by chance to occupy the same foxhole

June 23, 2006 12:25 PM  
Blogger Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV said...

I think it's pretty obvious what would happen. They would be so horny they they'd drop their rifles, their packs, and their pants and start going at it like rabbits. And everyone knows you can't kill brown people if you're too busy fucking.

June 23, 2006 12:42 PM  
Anonymous Robert said...

pRight, because it's somehow worse to have horny soldiers screwing each other than to have horny soldiers raping the women...

June 26, 2006 2:37 AM  
Blogger Maven Swift said...

Actually, *no* one likes Celine Dion.

June 26, 2006 10:02 PM  

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