Don't Stop the ACLU

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wait... Did you just...? Huh? That doesn't even make any sense!

In a most ridiculously ridiculous display of ridiculocity, Mr. Gribbit has once again threatened me with harm of some kind. Back in March, Gribbit said he would break my jaw for calling him a liar after he lied, even though the proof that I called him a liar has since been deleted. Fast-forward to today, when Ed Brayton of Dispatches from the Culture Wars fame, one of the calmest and most rational bloggers you'll ever come across, confronted Gribbit (Part 2 here) about some less-than-true claims Gribbit made in a recent post. I won't go into the specifics of their exchange, but I suggest you read the whole thing on Ed's and Gribbit's sites (at least what hasn't been removed from Gribbit's site).

But how did I become involved? Well, I responded to a poll on Gribbit's site while I was reading his response to Ed. The question Gribbit poses is simple enough: "Has Gribbit Lied?" Since I've witnessed Gribbit lying, I chose "Yes." Big mistake! Or something... I'm now on Gribbit's shitlist along with 14 others who answered in the affirmative. I'm #10, just in case you want my IP address for some reason. Gribbit warns:

Morons voting that I've lied on my current poll. I never said that I wouldn't share this information. ... Notice... They didn't have the balls to register now did they? I'’ll get them.
Huh? This is so confusing! We just answered the question Gribbit asked, but I guess it was a clever trap designed to get the IP addresses of those who disagree with him. Why would he need our IP addresses, you ask? That's the big mystery. Why would he list them on his site? That's the other big mystery. Why would we register for his site? Mystery #3. What does "I'll get them" mean? One more mystery. Perhaps jaw-breaking is involved.

The only thing better than responding politely to dissent is to crush dissent swiftly and entirely and then threaten those on the periphery who are sort of but not really involved. Mission accomplished.


This last part is for Gribbit and no one else, so if you're not Gribbit, stop reading.

Gribbit, have you ever smiled? Laughed? Cried? Shown any feeling other than anger? The human experience involves a wide range of emotions, and each emotion adds its own unique flavor to life. Being angry all the time is like eating dry toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day for your entire life. It's unpleasant and unhealthy. I'm not asking you to be perpetually happy, because that's not healthy, either (Substitute "cotton candy" for "dry toast" in the above analogy). Let things come as they may, and react to them calmly. Some will make you happy; others will make you sad. Still others will make you angry. Take it all with a grain of salt, and don't forget to keep on smilin' through. Hang in there, buddy! Maybe instead of being a bulldog you could be a bulldog-golden retriever hybrid, with the strength and tenacity of the bulldog and the loving nature and silky coat of the retriever!
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 11:09 PM


Blogger Beaming Visionary said...

I'll tell you what's funniest about the whole affair. (Well, funny thing, that; it's really hard, in a funny sort of way, trying to judge what's funniest there. Might be the pic of Gribbit talking shop on the telly.) Look at the recent comments list in the left sidebar:

1. (Gribbit) "HA! Banned yer meaty ass!"

2. (Ed Brayton) "My aplogies..."

3. (Gribbit, via Ed) "Deleted, sucka!"

4. (Gribbit, via Ed, again) "Deleted again! BOO-YAH!"

5. (Gribbit) "Thanks for the link, I LIVE for that stuff!"

June 15, 2006 3:57 PM  

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