Don't Stop the ACLU

Saturday, July 29, 2006

A voice of reason amongst the religious right

This guy might be my new hero.
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 10:04 PM | link | 1 comments

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Gaypocalypse Now

Time for a little change of pace. I put together this little three-minute movie on gay marriage for your viewing pleasure. It comes complete with groundbreaking special effects and a rockin' soundtrack. I mostly made it because I can't get enough of Photoshop and Premiere, but I think it makes a point of some kind as well. Fight the power!

posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 4:48 PM | link | 2 comments

Monday, July 24, 2006

By that logic, Sen. Brownback is a vagina

Hello, strangers. I apologize for my long absence. I'm a little rusty at the hinges. Let's start with a video:

Round about 2:45 in the Daily Show clip above, Sen. Sam Brownback (R-[where else?] Kansas) makes a fool of himself and Jon Stewart has a little fun with bad analogies.

As some of you may recall from my earlier, less delinquent days at DSTACLU, I enjoy poking holes in faulty analogies almost as much as I enjoy my Constitutional right to privacy. I see pundits and party hacks at both ends of the ideological continuum cooking up terrible, inapplicable analogies pretty much every day now and I can't overstate how painful it is to watch.

Since it's my first day back in a while, I'm going to start with one we can all relate to. The Recording Industry Association of America says copying music from friends or downloading it for free from the internets is stealing. When on the offensive, they might ask a group of young music-downloading whipper-snappers if they'd ever consider walking into a record store and taking a bunch of CDs without paying for them. The ethical whipper-snapper says, "Of course I'd never do that" and the RIAA nods sanctimoniously and replies, "See?"

But the smart whipper-snapper will have none of it. She might point out that stealing a CD from a record store means one fewer CD for that store to sell, a smaller profit margin, a laid-off hourly worker. It does not hurt the record labels because the retail establishment still has to pay the label for the stolen merchandise. In contrast, she might continue, making a copy of an existing purchased-or-not song file *might* hurt the record label, but only if the person downloading it were the sort of person who could or would ever be convinced that spending sixteen dollars on a CD was swell idea. "For example," WSer might say, "I would never buy a CD. Never, not once, not ever. If anti-piracy technology progressed to the point that in three weeks I'd downloaded my last Britney Spears song, I would simply stop the downloading. I would not go out and buy anything. The RIAA will never get a dime of mine. That being the case, my downloading is not bad for business. I'm not cutting into anyone's profits. I'm simply enjoying the freebies while the getting's good. Like those people who graze on samples of organic fruit salsa at the Whole Foods but would never think of coughing up thirty-five bucks for a jar of it."

Unfortunately, no matter how cutting the WSer's analogy analysis is, the law is still with the RIAA. As many noted intellectual property law scholars have said, that intellectual property law is a motherfucker. But you see where I'm going with this. Keep your eyes peeled, metaphor warriors, and report all faulty-analogy pushers directly to me. I'll talk some sense into them. You'll see.
posted by Maven Swift at 10:19 PM | link | 2 comments

Thursday, July 20, 2006

"Outta my way! I'm Hitler!" -- Bart Simpson

I sometimes get into "debates" with this cat called Kerwin Brown on Stop the ACLU. By "debates" I mean that he says the most ridiculous, outlandish things humanly possible and I pat him on the head for being so goddamn adorable. He makes guys like Jay, Gribbit, et al. look like Marxists, and that ain't easy. He once suggested that conservatives should support the Constitution Party rather than the GOP, because I guess the GOP just isn't conservative enough anymore. For the longest time, I was 99.998% certain that he was a parody, but I could never be sure... That is until today, when he dropped this on me:

  1. Comment by kerwin_brown on @ 2:08 pm

    Mr. Rational you are supporting the destruction of the right to life and health. You can call it freedom but it is still tyranny especially when you say that your say is all that matters. You like Hitler also support genocide by changing the definition of human being. That just happens to violate the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which reads as follows.

    Article 6.
    Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

    You are the enemy of the free people of the world and I hope you change.

This isn't the first time he's called me a tyrant, nor will it be the last. Among the reasons he's called me a tyrant are 1) I think gay sex should be legal (he doesn't, because anal sex places people at a higher risk for AIDS, and the government needs to protect people from themselves or something), 2) I think gay marriage should be legal (he doesn't, because it promotes gay sex, ruins families, whatever), and 3) I support a woman's right to legal and safe abortion procedures (he doesn't, because abortion is the same thing as taking a living child and running him/her through a wood chipper). Here's to Kerwin for creating such a wonderful persona for us all to enjoy.

Your Beloved Tyrant,

posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 4:35 PM | link | 3 comments

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Bush to sick people: Fuck you

Displaying a stunning amount of logical thought, President Bush today vetoed legislation that would have expanded embryonic stem cell research. In the name of saving little clumps of undifferentiated cells that may eventually turn into human beings, the Prez dashed the hopes of millions of Americans suffering from illnesses such as Parkinson's, ALS, and diabetes. In sum, microscopic ball of cells > sick and dying adult human. “Each of these human embryos is a unique human life with inherent dignity and matchless value ... These boys and girls are not spare parts,” Bush Said. I won't get into the whole is-it-a-human-being-or-not debate right now. Georgie, stem cell research has the potential to save countless lives - actual human lives, like people with organs and names and genders and families and more than eight cells. What you're basically saying is that a five-day-old blastocyst has more moral worth than a Lou Gehrig's patient.

If that's not bad enough, check out the accompanying photo in the NYT, which features a bunch of babies who started out as frozen embryos. Adorable aren't they? You know what they looked like five days after conception? They looked liked this: [ . ], only smaller. Just overflowing with inherent dignity and matchless value. Now contrast that with a crowd of crippled, wheelchair-bound 40-year-olds whose central nervous systems are falling apart and who have, at best, a few years to live. Now that is adorable. Thanks for saving all those little dots, George.

Update: The Onion chimes in on the issue.
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 7:37 PM | link | 1 comments

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Intelligent falling

The scary thing is, I don't think this is too far from the truth.
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 5:14 PM | link | 1 comments

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Even more Onion

Won't someone think of the FAMILIES?!
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 2:53 PM | link | 0 comments

Monday, July 10, 2006

I don't have time for bitches

I couldn't agree more.
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 10:08 PM | link | 0 comments

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A blast from the past

More from The Onion: I Know What Is Best For Everyone.

Congratulations on's 10th anniversary. Keep kicking the squares firmly in the teeth.
posted by Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV at 11:01 AM | link | 0 comments