Saturday, July 29, 2006
A voice of reason amongst the religious right
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Time for a little change of pace. I put together this little three-minute movie on gay marriage for your viewing pleasure. It comes complete with groundbreaking special effects and a rockin' soundtrack. I mostly made it because I can't get enough of Photoshop and Premiere, but I think it makes a point of some kind as well. Fight the power!
Monday, July 24, 2006
By that logic, Sen. Brownback is a vagina
Round about 2:45 in the Daily Show clip above, Sen. Sam Brownback (R-[where else?] Kansas) makes a fool of himself and Jon Stewart has a little fun with bad analogies.
As some of you may recall from my earlier, less delinquent days at DSTACLU, I enjoy poking holes in faulty analogies almost as much as I enjoy my Constitutional right to privacy. I see pundits and party hacks at both ends of the ideological continuum cooking up terrible, inapplicable analogies pretty much every day now and I can't overstate how painful it is to watch.
Since it's my first day back in a while, I'm going to start with one we can all relate to. The Recording Industry Association of America says copying music from friends or downloading it for free from the internets is stealing. When on the offensive, they might ask a group of young music-downloading whipper-snappers if they'd ever consider walking into a record store and taking a bunch of CDs without paying for them. The ethical whipper-snapper says, "Of course I'd never do that" and the RIAA nods sanctimoniously and replies, "See?"
But the smart whipper-snapper will have none of it. She might point out that stealing a CD from a record store means one fewer CD for that store to sell, a smaller profit margin, a laid-off hourly worker. It does not hurt the record labels because the retail establishment still has to pay the label for the stolen merchandise. In contrast, she might continue, making a copy of an existing purchased-or-not song file *might* hurt the record label, but only if the person downloading it were the sort of person who could or would ever be convinced that spending sixteen dollars on a CD was swell idea. "For example," WSer might say, "I would never buy a CD. Never, not once, not ever. If anti-piracy technology progressed to the point that in three weeks I'd downloaded my last Britney Spears song, I would simply stop the downloading. I would not go out and buy anything. The RIAA will never get a dime of mine. That being the case, my downloading is not bad for business. I'm not cutting into anyone's profits. I'm simply enjoying the freebies while the getting's good. Like those people who graze on samples of organic fruit salsa at the Whole Foods but would never think of coughing up thirty-five bucks for a jar of it."
Unfortunately, no matter how cutting the WSer's analogy analysis is, the law is still with the RIAA. As many noted intellectual property law scholars have said, that intellectual property law is a motherfucker. But you see where I'm going with this. Keep your eyes peeled, metaphor warriors, and report all faulty-analogy pushers directly to me. I'll talk some sense into them. You'll see.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
"Outta my way! I'm Hitler!" -- Bart Simpson
This isn't the first time he's called me a tyrant, nor will it be the last. Among the reasons he's called me a tyrant are 1) I think gay sex should be legal (he doesn't, because anal sex places people at a higher risk for AIDS, and the government needs to protect people from themselves or something), 2) I think gay marriage should be legal (he doesn't, because it promotes gay sex, ruins families, whatever), and 3) I support a woman's right to legal and safe abortion procedures (he doesn't, because abortion is the same thing as taking a living child and running him/her through a wood chipper). Here's to Kerwin for creating such a wonderful persona for us all to enjoy.
Your Beloved Tyrant,
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Bush to sick people: Fuck you
If that's not bad enough, check out the accompanying photo in the NYT, which features a bunch of babies who started out as frozen embryos. Adorable aren't they? You know what they looked like five days after conception? They looked liked this: [ . ], only smaller. Just overflowing with inherent dignity and matchless value. Now contrast that with a crowd of crippled, wheelchair-bound 40-year-olds whose central nervous systems are falling apart and who have, at best, a few years to live. Now that is adorable. Thanks for saving all those little dots, George.
Update: The Onion chimes in on the issue.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Even more Onion
Monday, July 10, 2006
I don't have time for bitches
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
A blast from the past
Congratulations on TheOnion.com's 10th anniversary. Keep kicking the squares firmly in the teeth.